Interview

Yesterday, I promised I would be speaking to the producer of 'Celebrity Hunt.' And so I am now able to announce today's article will be an interview with Miss Samantha Olwen Rule, better known as my grand-daughter. Miss Rule started her career at Mount Arcos Studios, California, but went independent when I paid her her pocket money arrears about four years and eleven months ago. Since then, she has set up her own production company, 'Speckled Bird Productions,' specialising in odd shows. I started our interview by asking Miss Rule how the public had reacted to the programme.

Samantha Rule: I think we were shocked at the enthusiasm for the massacre of publicity seekers by members of the public. We had to turn away thousands of them.

Sir Richard: And the celebrities?

SR: We conned them into it (laughing), they answered an advertisement which told them everything except the death part. And we told them that when we got out to the bush.

Sir Richard: Isn't that illegal?

SR: Not where we're filming it.

Sir Richard: I understand. Who are the celbrities?

SR: Has-beens and never-will-bes.

Sir Richard: Well, once they've been killed, they won't be, will they?

SR: But we do sell posters of their bloodied corpses. Not that anyone's asked for one, except some close relatives.

Sir Richard: Are there any more surprises for viewers of the show?

SR: All the deaths that are coming. After all, they surprised the celebrities.

Sir Richard: Some people are calling this 'a contest too far.' Do you think that's unfair?

SR: Absolutely. This isn't a contest at all. No-one wins any prizes, and they all die. How can that be a contest?

Sir Richard: You have a point. Are there any more projects in the pipeline, dear?

SR: We're just starting to film Celebrity Alive. It's like celebrity survivor, only without food.