Trapped!

For those of you wondering why I'm not blodding right now, I have been trapped in the pantry at Plas Llangarmon since Sunday lunchtime. Someone locked me in, then lost the key. At the moment, I am living off the contents of said pantry. The experts predict I can last until Christmas. Bob Rule says that he'll use an axe on the door until then.

However, my wife has apparently gone to London to do some murdering while I'm locked up. So if a sweet little blonde should meet you and ask you back to her flat, don't go. You might well have something very nasty happen to you.